youre lurking in front of me
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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