she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I can't put those talents on a resume
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize