i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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