Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
