walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
