Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
