Whoa Z and x make the same sound
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
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