My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
