I'm so fucking centered right now
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize