Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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