i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
