How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
