can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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