it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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