She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize