Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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