reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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