Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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