If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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