I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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