Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
