We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
