Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
you had me at cake vodka
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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