In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
