is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
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I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
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He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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