I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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