Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
