is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
