i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
