they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
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Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
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Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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