i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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