Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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