I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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