so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
