god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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