you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
