I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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