Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
