Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
