i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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