it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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