I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
