I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
