Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Pants are for mortals
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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