Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize