My boss' voice literally gives me gas
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize