dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
tell me about the fingering
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