they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I didn't notice because vodka
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
