i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
