dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
