Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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