I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
