Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The beer is more important than you right now.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
