Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
