I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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