): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
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Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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