dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
