I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
