I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
