Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
