i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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