the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
